I've honestly never "blogged" before. Of course I've heard about it, seen it, read about it. But I've never done it. I guess it's like writing a journal. I'm supposed to document my inner most thoughts, post them online and see if there is anyone out there that has the same thoughts and feelings as I have. It all seems kind of elementary-- I'm not sure why I'm doing it, or why I started this. But, for the last year or so, I've been feeling as though there is a lot I need to say. A lot that I need to get off of my chest and out into the world. It doesn't matter whether it is in a blog, to a friend, in a book or on a cocktail napkin- there is too much inside for me to keep in. There is an intensity of experience, fear and transformation that lives inside this mind that I need to make others aware of. No one knows how I really feel- and no one certainly knows the "real" me. They only see the small thin, transluscent layer of the onion. It's been peeled back time and time again, only to reveal the thicker layer that has been so hard to penetrate. No one really gets through, and those that do, often regret it. I've spent the last four years trying to soften that layer. Trying to take stock in why I do the things that I do, and why things transpire for me as they do. How I have made my own destiny. How the past really never *stays* in the past and how, no matter how hard you try, people never really forget your past mistakes. You forget-- they forgive. And that day that comes when the universe lays those mistakes in front of you one day after another, to remind you of them so you can start to forgive yourself. This is my journey...
Reinvented...
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
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